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Tuesday, 21 November 2017

second athletics story


One bright sunny morning I woke up still in my bed then I just remembered it was Athletics I jumped out of my bed saying “it’s Athletics it’s Athletics”.


Athletics is when people have races it goes little students too big students. We all assembled on the dots for the start of Athletics. We all leasend to the principal then we had to go around the bike track yelling our chants. I saw my mum and dad with my cousins and papa and aunty.


First the 8 and 9 year olds went to shot pot the ball was very heavy I did not throw it that far.


Second we did shot pot we went to high jump I nearly jumped over it but I just touched it then it fall to the ground.


Third we did high jump we went to long jump I jumped very far so I made it in the finals I came 3rd in the finals.


Last we did long jump we went to disktest I was the last one to throw I made it very far out of the 4 last people.


When we got to our tents the 5, 6 and some 3 and 4 year olds had races first. After their race 7, 8 year olds then had races me and Michael-L tied with each other.


Then it was the older students like my brother demetrius he came second I think.


Then the bell rang for us to have a break I went to my family and had some food I had some popcorn and some chips. Then the bell rang again so we had to go back to our tents we had to do a 75 meter race it was in the same order as the first 50 meter race but in the 75 meter race I came second in that race.


After that race we got to have another break I had some more popcorn and chips then I had tim to play with my cousins I was chasing my baby cousin around the park.




Then we had to go back to our tents  again  to do the 400 meter race it were only the people who made it into the rileys I was coming third at the start then I past one then when I got to my family I past him then my baby cousin said “ run for your life”. I just made it past the finish line before the others.


Then I ran back to my tent then we had to do the 100 meter race I ran as fast as a race car but I came third.


After the 100 meter race we did our relays but we came last because the other team had faster people then our team.

Then we all got to go home.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Davlyn I like the way you used paragraphs I suggest you check your work and use some more punctuation.thank you
    by Michael.F
    bye.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice work.but you could add full stops.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the way you use paragraphs and detail

    I have a suggestion that maybe you could add more full stops to make your story sense

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like how you used lots'of detail

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a suggestion maybe,next time,you could put more fall stop

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Davlyn for sharing your writing with us it was great but put some more detail and punchuation

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like the way you use dialogue in your story nice job

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like the way you used dialogue.
    I suggest that you should put full stops in the correct place.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi davlin i like how you used detail and dialogue

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi davlin i like how you used detail and dialogue

    ReplyDelete