Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Walking narrative

Brainstorm of ideas - sonny day and light dirt.

Describing character/setting - they are walking on light brown dirt on a bright sunny day on a wednesday, they are holding some metal sticks

Ideas for the problem - one of them might trip on a rock that is deep into the ground and broke their leg.

Ideas for the solution - they used aid kit

Start here:
On a sony day me and my mate paula went for a hike first we had to pack our stuff like first aid kit,bange, drink bottle,axe and our bag. When we were about to go we were so excited because this is the first time we did this.

So then they went out and started the walk then they started to run then they stopped for a drink then ran again. Then paula askilenly tripped on a rock that was deep into the ground and broke his leg.

When paula was tripped on the rock and broke his leg i went into my bag and grabbed my aid kit and put the bandages around it. Then I called the ambulance and the ambulance and took him to the hospital.

heaven and hell exist

Timotes part: Malo e lele My name is Timote.We have been learning about hell and heaven.We pick this topic because we want to learn about the diffents of heaven and hell.

Davlyns part: hello my name is davlyn do you no were they are? If you don’t you can ask me. Hell is under us and heaven is above us.

Isaias part: malo e lele my name is isaiah and we have learnt about heaven and hell. Do you know about heaven and hell? Hell was for the devil  and heaven was for angels.

Week 9 and 10

Monday, 2 July 2018

WALT how to use dialogue in our writing

Focuses for writing this week
Explanation in my own words.
Where do speech marks go
At the front of the talking and at the back.
How to put in other punctuation
Put them before the speech marks
When to start a new line or when to keep writing
When someone replies
Different words for ‘said’
Asked, replied, responded, yelled, screamed, shouted, mumbled, said, muttered, gasped, panting, chuckled, thought, told, uttered, continued, whispered
Adding adverbs
Responded politely, asked politely, screamed angrily,

“Who can I pick on?” asked Miss Ashley.
“Me” replied Timote.

“How was your day?” asked Hope.
“Great, thank you” replied Miss Ashley.

“How was your weekend” asked Dwyane.
“It was good” responded Havea.

If more than one person is talking, you put the reply underneath.
Mary was a beautiful girl who was wearing her long black hair in two plaits. She asked her mum, “can I go to the pools today?”.
“Why do you want to go” mum replied.
“It’s hot and I want to cool off”.
“Fine then”

If it’s only one person, you keep going.
Little red riding hood walked along the dirt path and thought to herself “I’m getting hungry”. She had walked a looooonng way but the thought of warm apple pie when she got to grandma’s house kept her going.

MY GROUP’S EXAMPLE.“How was your day?” asked Michael.
“It was great, it was fun” replied Lopi.
“Let’s go do fruit Lopi.”
He nodded in reply.

How was your weekend said lopi?”.
It was great I went to my baby cousins birthday”
Replied lopi.

“When are you finished lopi?”.said Michael.
When i’m finished replied lopi.

Friday, 29 June 2018


i lernt how to play this old man and twinkle twinkle little star on piano

The Water fall

There was man named Axel Blevins  he wanted to make his dream come true by jumping of the tallest waterfall.

Me and my friends took a minivan there.We had to make a pot stop to food and gas when we got there we had to do a barbarcar to cook.Some of us went into the sea and had a swim.

After the long swim they went to hunt some animals to have something to eat for their lunch. Also they went and got some water for the lunch.Later on me and john went looking for the water when we found it we told the rest of the crew to first we munch than we go.After we munched we went to the waterfall and jumped off after that we went home.

narrative plan

Brainstorm of ideas:
  • Car crash, people inside the car, fire fighters, not looking, fire-fighters, man was driving then suddenly he crashed into a pole, speeding, different kinds of services - police and ambulance. Flipped,
  • See - people standing around, glass on the ground, windshield or windscreen,  stop traffic, upside down, airbags, fire extinguishers,
  • smell/hear - gasoline or petrol or oil, smoke, sirens, people talking

Drunk driver, Axel Belvins , 60 year old man
Car crash
A witness calls the ambulance, police and fire service
No glasses so couldn’t see
injuries - broken arm, broken ribs, brain damage, scars
Fire fighters use jaws of life to get the person out and save them. They cut the car in half.
On the phone playing Mobil Fortnite.
Petrol leak, and the engine was gonna blow up, so the whole car was gonna blow up.
Fire extinguisher, put saw dust on the petrol, get the people out first before it explodes.
Distracting - picking something up, or changing the radio station.

Death of Jax
2 sentences
One Fantastic Evening The kids had decided to have a very wet day.They had forgot that there dad was around a highway.
Orientation 5-10 sentences
In the year 2012 july the 4th their Dad Axel had been a alcoholic for nearly 12 years now. Axel had his kids in the year 2000, He has very unique twins named Jax and Dax it was their birthday tomorrow and they wanted there dad to celebrate to. Because it was there 20th birthday, Because there dad promised them a Ak47 the most violent gun in san diego.  
5-10 sentences
As the twins went on they had been waiting for hours but the dad was trying his first ever Cigarette Axel thinks it is more important in his life. Jax went out in his car looking for his dad, But little did he know there was a bank robbery. He was held hostage and was taken to prison because he got caught with the bank money. He had try telling the cops but they did not believe him.
5-10 sentences
The dad and Dax saw Jax on the news bared up, They both knew it was a trick, The dad did not go for alcohol so he helped his son get out of jail. They stumbled across the police and they had a little talk. They went to the jail and took him out with the $100 he saved up. They went home and Ava (Mother) was there. They looked disappointed and banished them outside the house
Less than 5 sentences
After a couple of years There dad died they had no funeral because he was very drunk man. Later Jax died from the Latino Gang. Dax was left all alone but he only knew it was always right to take revenge for his brother. He went on and killed The latino gang with the Pump Shotgun his dad gave him before he died.