writing good intros

WHO: Room 7 WHAT: played the maths game WHEN: Thursday 14th September WHERE: in the hall WHY: to practice our maths skills HOW: we walked there, in teams of 6. Bad Intro: Room 7 played the maths game. It was Thursday 14th September 2018. We were in the hall. We did it to practice our maths skills. We walked there and we were in teams. Good intro: On Thursday morning (the 14th September 2018), Room 7 walked out the to the hall to play the maths game. Room 7 plays this game so we can practice our maths skills and have a bit of a running around break. *Put the information into sentences TOGETHER. Much better to read* WHO: Me and my family WHAT: went to the beach WHEN: Saturday 8th September WHERE: Mission bay WHY: to have fun and enjoy the sunshine HOW: drove in the car Intro:Me and my family drove to mission bay to have fun and enjoy the sunshine by the way it was saturday The 8th of september. WHO: me and my best friend WHAT: went to the movies and had lunch WHEN: on Sunday 9th September WHERE: Sylvia Park WHY: for my birthday HOW: mum dropped us off in the car Intro: on Sunday 9th September me and my best friend. My mum dropped us off in the car to the movies and have lunch in Sylvia Park for my birthday. WHO: Me and my family WHAT: went to nana’s house WHEN: after church on Sunday 9th September WHERE: nana’s house in Panmure WHY:to have lunch together, help plan for cousins 21st party HOW: drove in the van Intro: After church on Sunday 9th September me and my family drove to nana’s house in Panmure to have lunch together, help plan for cousins 21st party.